Team Each Hit

Week 4 Update

2009-02-05T11:13:00.001-08:00

Week 4 Stats

Welcome Back Bowling Fans!!!

In honor of the anniversary of the day the music died, I have written a bowling parody of the famous Don McClean song commemorating the event.
(Please sing to American Pie)

A short, short time ago...
I can still remember
How that 10 pin used to make me smile.
And I knew if they had the chance.
That Team Each Hit would make those pins dance
and, maybe, they'd hold on to first place for awhile.

But January made me shiver.
With every gutter ball I delivered.
Bad news for Team Each Hit
Captain Pink Shoes had lost some of her wit.

I can't remember if I sighed,
When I got the text saying we barely tied,
But something touched me deep inside,
The day the bowling alley cried.

So bye-bye, to bowling scores up so high.
Now my strike ball is a gutter ball
and my spares are denied.
And them other teams are destroying our pride.
Singin', "Team Each Hit bowls like they're sleep deprived."
"Team Each Hit bowls like they're sleep deprived."

Did you see the Cooler's hook?
And do you believe the risk that Beer Nip took?
The beer must've told him so.
Do you believe in spares and strikes?
And is bowling just like riding a bike,
once you learn it, it comes back to you real slooooooow?

Well I know that Lefty's narrowing in
on the form that previously helped us win.
All the newbies stole our shoes
thinking that must be what's making us lose.

Double Bagger was a teenage broncin' buck
the bowling alley down the street really tuned her up
But she knew we'd be out of luck
The day the bowling alley cried.

We started singin,
bye-bye, to bowling scores up so high.
Now my strike ball is a gutter ball
and my spares are denied.
Them other teams are destroying our pride.
Singin', "Team Each Hit bowls like they're sleep deprived."
"Team Each Hit bowls like they're sleep deprived."

Now for four years we've been on our own
but moss grows tired on 6 hours sleep alone.
But that's not how it used to be.
When Team Each Hit called out to the bowling scene,
that help was needed to heal their team,
and salvation came first from Big Country and Harmie.

Oh and while the team was looking 'round,
Mack Attack and Aly Ball came bouncing down.
When the council was adjourned;
a verdict was returned.
And while Pink Shoes still couldn't hit a mark,
the newby quartet practiced until dark,
and Team Each Hit's hopes flew higher than a lark,
the day the alley cried.

We started singin',
bye-bye, to bowling scores up so high.
Now my strike ball is a gutter ball
and my spares are denied.
Them other teams are destroying our pride.
Singin', "Team Each Hit bowls like they're sleep deprived."

Until next time.... Go Each Hit!

Week 1: IOU

2009-01-13T12:50:00.000-08:00

Week 1 Stats

Welcome Back Bowling Fans!!!

Week 6: Pin Pals

2008-02-12T08:21:00.000-08:00

Week 6 Stats

Welcome Back Bowling Fans!!!

As most of you are devoted and extremely loyal fanatics of Team Each Hit, you must all already realize that Team Each Hit has been steadily falling down the ranks of the Pizza Pitcher League. There is no doubt they are in a severe slump. And when you are in the midst of a slump, there is no worse time to play a number one ranked team, or more importantly a team on a roll.

Unfortunately that's just who Team Each Hit was matched up against in Week 6, the dreaded Pin Pals. Recently the alley had been abuzz about the sudden dominance of this relatively unknown team. In their first year in the league, and in three back to back weeks, the amazing foursome of Homer, Moe, Apu and Otto had completely dominated their opponents and won every point. In their first match up, despite looking rusty, they easily took down the previous league champs, the Channel 6 Wastelanders. And in the weeks to come, without even trying, they blanked the DMV Regulation Kings and completely destroyed the spirits of the previous number 1 ranked team the Holy Rollers. With that kind of skill and a Nuclear Power Plant as their sponsor how could Team Each Hit not be nervous?

But coming into their match up with Team Each Hit, the Pin Pals did something unheard of; They replaced their top bowler Otto, who in previous weeks had single handedly decided games with his amazing ability to pick up spares, with the chief executive officer of the Nuclear Power Plant, Mr. Burns. Upon seeing this decrepit and ancient looking man stroll up to throw his first ball, Team Each Hit thought there was a glimmer of hope to take down this powerhouse. But Otto was not going to let this game be a cake walk. And in the end his disturbance at the vending machines was what tipped the scales in Pin Pals favor yet again.

Team Each Hit can only hope that next week they play a less animated team.

Go Each Hit!!

Week 5: 24 Secrets of the Bowling Alley

2008-02-05T08:59:00.000-08:00

Week 5 Stats

Welcome Back Bowling Fans!!!

This week Team Each Hit bowled against a team strangely titled: 24 Secrets of the Bowling Alley. Inspired by their unique name, Team Each Hit compiled 24 of their own bowling alley secrets.

1. When things look bleak, try drowning your monkey for luck.
2. If you get a mark you should yell "Card Worthy" and strut your stuff as you return to your team.
3. Chair flipping is never cool.
4. Shamrock suspenders are always cool.
5. Gumball's scent is still going strong.
6. You should never throw your hat when you are angry.
7. It's always too hot for Beer Nip to bowl.
8. When Tummy puts on the "something stinks" face, it's actually a good thing.
9. There are only two nice people who work at the alley, Grandma Bee and Little Miss Ponytail.
10. Lefty is now Tummy.
11. The Cooler is now The House.
12. Double Bagger and Pink Shoes are still the same.
13. Everyone could be Pink Shoes due to a jersey naming mishap.
14. No matter what cards are used, Team Each Hit's opponents are never distracted.
15. The four pizza day has become a thing of legend.
16. If you talk about it, then Team Each Hit will mess up the foundation frame.
17. Double Bagger doesn't like to bowl under pressure.
18. Although very rare, Team Each Hit has seen a few reach-arounds.
19. A pin only has to tilt 7 degrees to fall down... who knew that could be so difficult to achieve.
20. Team Each Hit bowls best when drinking 3 pitchers.
21. Double Bagger bowls best when on work outings. (Stupid 211 that didn't count!)
22. The House was sent away to Bowling Camp, and every 3 weeks he comes home and shows off how much he's improved.
23. The only thing better than extra pizza is a Sam's Club hot dog.
24. Despite improved performances, Team Each Hit is definitely in a slump.

Go Each Hit!!

Week 4: The Blumpkins

2008-01-29T08:20:00.000-08:00

Week 4 Stats

Welcome Back Bowling Fans!!!

Do any of you remember how annoying 13 year old boys are? Especially 4 of them together? The immature jokes, the acne, the crotch grabbing, the overall obnoxious and annoying behavior? Now imagine four 23 year olds acting like this for 2 hours straight and you are accurately envisioning The Blumpkins, Team Each Hit's opponent for Week 4.

Do you still have that visual in your head? Good. Now you should easily be able to imagine how this annoyance might impact a teams focus and ability to bowl up to their potential. Team Each Hit tried desperately to focus their tunnel vision and only see the pins, but nothing seemed to help. They were distracted, and they were handed a quick loss in Game 1.

After realizing that their focus was compromised Team Each Hit was desperate for a distraction. Putting the team first, Double Bagger decided to do something about these boys. Channeling her inner dorkiness, Double Bagger ran to her car, grabbed her lap top, her personal copy of World of Warcraft and challenged the Blumpkins to a duel. Double Bagger's amazingly powerful Paladin avatar was able to keep The Blumpkins attention off bowling and crotch grabbing just long enough to allow the remaining members of Team Each Hit to rediscover their true bowling form and pull out a victory in Game 2.

But unfortunately the distraction was short lived. And as The Blumpkins became more and more discouraged with their feeble attempts at beating Double Bagger in World of Warcraft, they began to redouble their bowling efforts and, most disappointingly to Team Each Hit, their obnoxious annoyance factor. So once again, in Game 3, Team Each Hit was not able to overcome the adolescent obnoxious factor and they were defeated.

As Team Each Hit walked through their lessons learned from this Week's debacle, they all concluded one thing; thank goodness we will never again have to bowl against such idiots. And they all hoped these would not be famous last words, as the even MORE annoying, and chair flipping, Team 13 still lurked out there.

Go Each Hit!!

Week 3: Motorboaters

2008-01-22T08:19:00.000-08:00

Week 3 Stats

Welcome Back Bowling Fans!!!

This week the beloved Team Each Hit battled a team of Red Cross certified swim instructors playfully named The Motorboaters*. But Team Each Hit was focused, and with the devastating loss from Week 2 fresh on their minds, there was no way they were going to let those Motorboaters get in their chest and shake things up.

Heat 1: The Doggy Paddle
With victory on their mind, Team Each Hit pumped themselves up and showed extraordinary focus to win the first heat. They got a quick jump off the blocks from their new rookie, Beer Nip (Aka Kurtain, AKA Everybody Kurts, AKA Bangkok, AKA The Big Kurt, AKA Mathlete, AKA Frankurter), but definitely lost some ground when only half their team was able to match their average scores. In the end Team Each Hit got lucky as their doggy paddle was just enough to beat out The Motorboaters elementary backstroke.

Heat 2: The Breaststroke
In the second heat, Team Each Hit was awestruck with the accuracy and precision of The Motorboaters breaststroke. And no matter how hard they sprinted, they just could not keep their heads above water. With an inevitable set back to their perfect victory, Team Each Hit took comfort in knowing that this was a long course event, and so they refocused and buckled down for the marathon that would be heat 3.

Heat 3: 400 Meter Medley Relay
In the last heat, Team Each Hit pulled out all the stops. They lubed up, they put on low resistance suits and they shaved their heads, anything to get just the slightest edge so they could pull out a final victory. Leading by example, the veterans of Team Each Hit showed that pressure did not affect them as they displayed perfect form in all of their strokes, even beating The Motorboaters in breaststroke.

After tallying all the points, Team Each Hit came out with a respectable 5-2 victory over The Motorboaters. And since the Red Cross always promotes good sportsmanship and being a good loser, The Motorboaters did a cheer for Team Each Hit to cap off the evening:
Bowling ball, bowling ball, knock-the pins so slow.
Bowling ball, bowling ball, knock-the pins so fast!
Bowling ball, bowling ball, knock-the pins on their ass!

Go Each Hit!!

*For those of you unaware of the Red Cross' tips and tricks for swim instruction for preschoolers, the Motorboat song is a staple in helping the children playfully learn to put their face in the water and blow bubbles.

Week 2: Meet the Fockers

2008-01-15T07:22:00.000-08:00

Week 2 Stats

Welcome Back Bowling Fans!!!

In Week 2 Team Each hit had the horrible misfortune of bowling Meet the Fockers and their bowling prodigy Little Jack. The talk across the lanes was that this team had even trained their cat Jinxy to bowl... and if the family pet can bowl, you know there's gonna be trouble.

Team Each Hit watched closely as Meet the Fockers and Little Jack warmed up, sizing up the competition with every practice ball thrown. At the end of the practice period, Double Bagger felt confident, she felt no fear of the opponent. She excitedly explained to the team, I'm saying that I have seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he's been here and I've got news for you, prodigies don't eat there own boogers. So there is still hope we can pull out a victory!!

Unfortunately that hope was short lived as Meet the Fockers and Little Jack easily took down Team Each Hit in game one. Seeing that his team was shaken, The House decided to try and give a motivational speech and really pump up the team. He cleared his throat and began: "Team, a man reaches a certain age when he realizes what's truly important. Do you know what that is? His legacy." His bowling legacy to be exact. So let's beat these Fockers!! And Team Each Hit responded, bowling much better than in Game one, but still not good enough to take down the Fockers.

At the conclusion of Game 2, the Fockers asked that Team Each Hit keep an eye on Little Jack for a moment while they go pick up their pizza. And when they were gone tragedy struck. As Team Each Hit prepared to do a team waterfall to boost morale, Little Jack began to cry. Seeing that he was upset that his team had left him to go get pizza, Tummy went over and put his arm around the little guy. He asked what it would take to get him to calm down long enough for us to finish our drinking ritual. When an agreement was made, the team went back to their drinking not noticing the mischief Little Jack was getting into. When the Fockers returned, they were aghast and demanded to know what happened. As Team Each Hit sat there with their jaws gaping, Tummy stood up and began to explain. I am not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn't stop crying so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV... when I looked back... he had put on Scarface and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? That's it. The Fockers were furious, and began scrambling to find a replacement for Little Jack in Game 3. But when the league refused to allow a cat to bowl, the Fockers were screwed. But even with the obvious advantage, Team Each Hit still only managed to win by the smallest of margins.

The Game 3 victory was bittersweet, as the feeling of disgust over the 5 points lost overpowered the feeling of relief for the two points they won. So being the good sports that they are, they slowly got up to shake hands with their formidable opponents. But as they outstretched their hands Meet the Fockers simply yelled, "Focker Out!" as they ran out the doors an onto their bus.

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 1: 2Slo2Bowl

2008-01-08T16:14:00.000-08:00

Week 1 Stats

Welcome Back Bowling Fans!!!

I know you have all dearly missed your beloved Team Each Hit over the past 8 months... but never fear... they are back and better than ever! This year is bringing a lot of great changes for the team, including a new blog, new jerseys, some new nicknames and a new sub (due to the impending and frequent travel of the bowler formally known as "The Cooler"). Hopefully all of this is a recipe for success!

For those of you who have fallen off your bowling A game, week 1 in a bowling league is generally a very good week to bowl sub par. This poor bowling, often done intentionally, allows a bowler to establish such a high handicap that they can just coast to victory for many weeks to come. This handicap tampering is what Team Each Hit likes to refer to as "the plan."

Since Team Each Hit is made up of four not very highly skilled bowlers you would think following "the plan" would be relatively easy. You would think that bowling numerous bad frame in a row would come to them like second nature. But just like many a teams, on any given Tuesday, what is expected of them is not always what they deliver.

So Team Each Hit struggled to follow "the plan" as only one bowler per game seemed to be able to mess up their game. Congratulations Pink Shoes on messing up so royally in game 1 that you bowled your highest game in 3 seasons, you'll never be able to recover. Nice work Tummy (formerly known as Lefty) and The House (formerly known as The Cooler) on peaking so high in Game two that even if you did throw the other games your averages were ruined. And great planning Double Bagger, the amazing third game was just what you needed to ruin all the work you put into "the plan" in the first two games.

Now generally these feats would be compliments, but "the plan" for week 1 is the exact opposite of what the strategy is for every other week. So while Team Each Hit may have taken an early lead in the league standing with a stellar performance, what they really did was set themselves up for a 5 week up-hill battle until the handicap tampering evens itself out.

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Play-Offs: Spartans

2007-05-18T06:19:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately Team Each Hit was not able to pull off the 10th place three-peat this year. :-( They fell into a bit of a slump in Weeks 7-12, and even after posting two OUTSTANDING back to back performances, they weren't able to overcome the deficit. Nevertheless, they showed amazing heart and spirit in the final weeks, dominating their opponents. Also, they ended their season on a high note by toping the league leader board with a Team High Handicap Game. Their amazing performance in the play-offs and their leader board appearance left all fans of Team Each Hit salivating at the prospects of what next year's season might bring.

Thank you to all the fan support this year and enjoy the trivia answers.

Week 1: What is the name of Double Bagger's Ball?
--> Gumball of course. Named after it's lovely smell.
Week 2: What was the theme of Week 2's email?
-->Star Wars. One of my favorite masterpieces.
Week 3: What was Double Bagger's name in the Pizza, Pitcher, Beer league up until Week 3?
-->Karla Bednar... I swear I didn't do that... ;-)
Week 4: What movie was mimicked when describing the origin of Lefty's nickname?
-->Shawshank Redemption. AMAZING movie... the line I stole was when they asked Morgan Freeman's character why people called him Red. He replied, I don't know, maybe it's because I'm Irish. In the book Freeman's character was actually a red-headed guy, but when casting came around the producers thought it would be good to have an African American fill the role thus eliminating the reference for the joke, but they left it in anyway when it came time for taping.
Week 5: In the Week 5 email, which of the top ten reasons didn't fit in?
-->The one good thing mixed in the Top Ten list of bad things that happen when you bowl on Saturday was the fact the Momma Double Bagger donated a very cool bowling bag to The Cooler.
Week 6: What is dead wood?
-->Dead wood is defined as a bowling term used to describe a bowling pin that has settled in the gutter and cannot be retrieved by the pinsetter. Manual intervention is required to clear dead wood.
Week 7: Who called Crazy Legs, Crazy Legs to his face?
-->The Cooler of course! I think I almost cried I was laughing so hard.
Week 8: Who was our one and only sub this year?
-->Brian "The Slavenator" Slaven, proving that he can pitch and bowl.
Week 9: What kind of animal is a Strike-a-Saurus?
-->They are pizzavores.... or dinosaurs... there was a small debate over this answer.
Week 10: What place does Team Each Hit hope to achieve each season?
-->10th as always!
Week 11: Who bowled the worst series of the season, what was the score?
-->I did, Pink Shoes, I bowled a 274 series. I stink, they only keep me around for the emails.
Week 12: What is the most famous recreational bowling team of all time?
--> Triple X
Week 13: How many pizzas did Team Each Hit get served during their Saturday pre-bowl?
--> 4!! Our waitress misread our ticket, 4 XL Pizza Pitcher Leagues, as 4XL Pizzas. I think we ate about one and a half just because we could and the other 2 and a half pizzas were divided up and brought home. Lefty was in heaven!

Thanks to one and all for supporting Team Each Hit this season!

Until next year...

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 13: Log Jammin'

2007-05-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

Once again Team Each Hit decided it was necessary to pre-bowl this week. That being the case... I can't tell you who won. So instead, since is the last game of the regular season, I thought it was time for our yearly trivia contest. I have outlined one question per week, for those of you who have been avidly reading and memorizing the summaries this season, this quiz should be relatively simply. (For the rest of you, the answers are out there... just look for them).

Week 1: What is the name of Double Bagger's Ball?
Week 2: What was the theme of Week 2's email?
Week 3: What was Double Bagger's name in the league up until Week 3?
Week 4: What movie was mimicked when describing the origin of Lefty's nickname?
Week 5: In the Week 5 email, which of the top ten reasons didn't fit in?
Week 6: What is dead wood?
Week 7: Who called Crazy Legs, Crazy Legs to his face?
Week 8: Who was our one and only sub this year?
Week 9: What kind of animal is a Strike-a-Saurus?
Week 10: What place does Team Each Hit hope to achieve each season?
Week 11: Who bowled the worst series of the season, what was the score?
Week 12: What is the most famous recreational bowling team of all time?
Week 13: How many pizzas did Team Each Hit get served during their Saturday pre-bowl?

Next Week: The play-offs!!! Hope to see you all there cheering us on!

Go Each Hit!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 12: Snakes on a Lane!

2007-04-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

Here are the undisputed facts surrounding this week's match up:
--> Snakes on a Lane are the number one ranked team in all Pizza Party Pitcher League polls.
--> Last week Snakes took home the award for Highest Team Series, Highest Team Average and Highest Individual Handicap Game*
--> Team Each Hit put together the worst pin total for a series in the 2007 season.
--> One member of Snakes pre-bowled, and amazingly he managed to bowl a total of 128 pins over his series average.
--> Snakes dominated Team Each Hit by over 300 total pins.

But just like many unbelievable historic events, people tend to feel that the facts aren't the whole truth. And that the real story has been covered up in order to protect the real events. Outlined below are the most popular conspiracy theories surrounding the monumental loss for Team Each Hit last night.

Theory 1: Pete Rose
It has been suggested that ever since Pete Rose was banned from baseball he has been fulfilling his gambling fix by placing high stakes bets on recreational bowling league match ups. Sources report, that due to the lack of identity verification for pre-bowlers, Rose was able to pay for a more experienced bowler to bowl in place of Snakes fourth bowler. By working the bowler handicap system to his favor, Rose was able to insure a much more predictable outcome.

Theory 2: Hollywood
Other sources believe, that Hollywood execs placed undercover agents at the alley this past week to do research for the sequel of the colossal flop Snakes on a Plane. Entertainment websites report that Hollywood is contemplating a sequel, Snakes on a Lane, and have been watching with bated breath to see if their new catch phrase would catch on. (I have had it with these mother%#$@ snakes on this mother%#$@ lane! )

Theory 3: The PBA
After hearing that Team Each Hit was on track to break the record for longest consecutive 10th place finishes in a recreational bowling league, and by doing so take down the most beloved recreational team of all time, Triple X, the PBA decided that to preserve the dignity and prestige of Triple X they had to stop Team Each Hit from achieving this. Most theorists believe that this was accomplished by providing Snakes access to many bowling enhancing drugs as well as banned bowling ball substances such as ball lube.

* Team Each Hit's own, The Cooler, actually tied for High Handicap Game in the league for last week. Congratulations on a great game!

Only two weeks left!!! Next Week's Game: Team Each Hit vs. Log Jammer's, 9pm @ Sawmill Lanes.

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 11: Flies on Pies

2007-04-03T14:11:00.000-07:00

Team Each Hit fought a good fight against a very tough and heavily favored opponent (Vegas had the line at 80 Pins). The team played tough defense, and as they entered the second half down only a few pins, Team Each Hit tried to pull it together. Unfortunately, all their shots were all just a little off. As the clock wound down, Team Each Hit saw the victory slowly slip away. In the final minutes, they could only tip their heads in appreciation of the talent of Flies on Pies and await the confetti. As it streamed down on us, we hung our heads in defeat and then the song began to play....

... It's still hard for me to watch this.... but here's the tune to sing along with...

The ball is rolled
and there you are
you're bowling for your life
you're a shooting star
And all the beers
no one knows
just how much pizza you ate
but now it shows...
(in) ONE SHINING MOMENT, IT'S ALL ON THE LINE
ONE SHINING MOMENT, THERE FROZEN IN TIME

But time is short
and the alley is long
in the blinking of an eye
all the pins are gone
And when it's done
Team Each Hit will lose
but 3/4 of them did their best
cuz inside they knew...
(that) ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU REACHED DEEP INSIDE
ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE

Feel the groove of the lane
smell the scent of Gumball
it's more than a bowling match
The Cooler wore no hat at all...

And when it's done
Team Each Hit will lose
but 3/4 of them did their best
cuz inside they knew...
(that) ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU REACHED FOR THE SKY
ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU KNEW
ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU WERE WILLING TO TRY
ONE SHINING MOMENT....

Week 10: Wild Turkeys

2007-03-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of each new season teams sit down and game plan. They take a good hard look at their talent and their competition and they set realistic goals. Goals that are just out of reach, but are still attainable with the right training and maybe a little bit of luck. Once their goals are established, they then start working out the road map for achieving that goal. They go through all the possible scenarios so that nothing surprises them.

When Team Each Hit sat down to discuss the upcoming season their goal was the same goal as they have every year... finish 10th in the Pizza Pitcher Party league. So as they approach the home stretch of the season, they appear to be in the perfect place. (Tenth place that is, if your a bit slow). So despite how boring or unexciting this may sound to the fans, Team Each Hit has now change from attack mode to maintenance mode. They have pretty much clinched their birth into the 9/10 play off assuring them the chance to play for 10th like they always dreamed. So all they can do for the final weeks is try to keep everyone healthy and play good defense.

Team Each Hit battled against the threat of a lap top being brought to the alley (yes, some people on Team Each hit ARE that big of workaholics), broke in a new pair of jeans (very nice The Cooler), and on bowler even forgot how to bowl mid game (despite the stats, no it wasn't me.. real funny guys) but despite all of these obstacles, Team Each Hit got done what needed to be done. They seem to be locked in to tenth position and they are cruising right into the Week 14 match up of destiny.

Next Week's Game: Team Each Hit vs. Flies on Pies, 9pm @ Sawmill Lanes.

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 9: Strike-a-Saurus

2007-03-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

Strike-a-Saurus (from the Greek meaning 'bowling pin destroyer') is one of the last known existing dinosaurs. Ranging in height from approximately 1.5-2 meters, the beast is known to have unusually long arms, squatty legs and a narrow snout allowing for binocular vision. Strike-a-saurus's amazing physical morphism throughout time has enabled the animal to feel as though his enemies (the bowling pins) are merely inches away and can easily be destroyed with his extraordinarily long reach. To this day, scientists continue to debate over how this one species managed to survive the Cretaceous-Bowlingallery extinction event. Most agree that their survival is directly related to their immunity to rental shoe foot fungus.

Although a widely feared bowling pin predator, the beast actually poses little threat to humans. One of the last known pizzavores, the Strike-a-Saurus is primarily a scavenger, sniffing out pizza and beer for nourishment to fuel its body so that it can perform its one true instinctual task, destroying pins. Despite this, the Strike-a-Saurus can be extremely predatory and humans should avoid undue confrontation with the beast. If forced into close proximity, humans should refrain from challenging the Strike-a-Saurus. The best way to convey to the beast that you are not a threat is to knock down as few of pins as possible; gutter balls being the preferred bowling action.

While Double Bagger and Lefty threw caution to the wind and openly taunted the Strike-a-Saurus with their amazing bowling, Pink Shoes and The Cooler were left to try and calm the beast. They did what was needed to ensure the survival of the team. They should be commended on their horrendous bowling, as their lack of all skill last night is the only thing that spared the lives of Team Each Hit and allowed them to bowl another day.

Next Week's Game: Team Each Hit vs. Wild Turkeys, 9pm @ Sawmill Lanes.

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 8: Spare Me

2007-03-13T14:08:00.000-07:00

Welcome Back Bowling Enthusiasts!!

When I got home last night it was 75 degrees and the sun was smiling widely in the sky. Overall it was gorgeous!! All I could think of was getting outside and enjoying the weather.. it was a good thing we had softball that evening. Err... bowling?! We have to be cooped up inside in a bowling alley on this gorgeous evening?! The insanity! But alas it was true.....

With our minds focusing on the fun that spring would bring, some of us had little room for bowling. Double Bagger bowled spectacularly and our sub (filling in for the under-the-weather Lefty) filled in nicely. Unfortunately, the other half of Team Each Hit just couldn't pull it together. More than once throughout the evening the "nose dive" and the "downward spiral" were mentioned... it was bad bad BAD bowling. And to make matters worse, our opponent strung together three games averaging 40 pins above their usual team scores. It was a massacre.

Hopefully next week we'll pull things together (including the regular bowlers) and try to bounce back from our first, and hopefully only, four point shellacking of the season.

Next Week's Game: Team Each Hit vs. Strike-A-Saurus, 9pm @ Sawmill Lanes.

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 7: Fat Daddy's Pump

2007-03-06T14:06:00.000-08:00

Welcome Back Bowling Enthusiasts!!

After what seemed like a two year hiatus, Team Each Hit was back in action last night on Sawmill Lanes. Unfortunately, their performance was at best rusty. Team Each Hit bowled as they always hope they could bowl on the first week of the season when they are trying to skew their handicap... which means they bowled MISERABLY. The only problem is, this isn't the first week of the season.

As a measure of pity on the part of their opponent, Fat Daddy's Pump, the match ups this week amazingly stayed pretty close right down to the end. In almost every game, at some point in the 8th or 9th frame, the teams were dead even. It made for some very exciting bowling, even if the scores reflect that of 5 year olds.

The tight scoring and the very friendly members of Fat Daddy's Pump made for one of the most enjoyable losses of the season. It was as if we were bowling against our crazy Uncle Carl and the three goofballs that work for him at the gas station. Just imagine the high jinx!

On a positive note... three good things were uncovered during bowling last night:
1. I hope many of you realize that I make up nicknames for some of our more memorable opponents. Unlike Team Each Hit, most teams are not as fun and do not bowl under an alias. So, when using unlicensed nicknames to describe people you see weekly, I guess it's inevitable a slip up could occur. So last night, to the delight of everyone on Team Each Hit, The Cooler accidentally addressed one of the most infamously named opponents using the internally made up nickname from Season Two, Crazy Legs. The good sport that he is, Crazy legs laughed it off. I've never seen Lefty get redder quicker than in that instant. HYSTERICAL.
2. Team Each Hit was able to experience PBA style bowling. Some how the entire alley emptied out while Team Each Hit was still in the 7th frame of their last game. Amazingly, bowling alleys get mighty quiet when there are only two lanes being used and it is a very odd sensation being the only bowler out there.
3. THERE'S ONLY 11 MORE DAYS UNTIL ST. PADDY's DAY!!!

Next Week's Game: Team Each Hit vs. Spare Me, 9pm @ Sawmill Lanes.

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 6: Sabbath Rollers

2007-02-13T14:05:00.000-08:00

As implied by their name, bowling for this week's opponent is more than just an excuse to get out on a Tuesday night, it's ritual, it's devotion, it's their passion. After speaking with Sabbath Bowlers, we came to understand that in their bowling religion they celebrate Tuesday as the day bowling was created. They believe that after God rested, he wanted to let loose with his friends. So on the 9th day, He created bowling.

These Holy rollers came out striking and Team Each Hit could barely keep up with the marking onslaught. Despite an amazing last ditch effort in the tenth by Pink Shoes, the Sabbath Bowlers faith was just too strong. They handily dominated Team Each Hit by over 40 pins.

Now, Team Each Hit may not understand the bowling religion completely, but they do know that in bowling momentum swings as frequently as dead wood*. And just like that, Team Each Hit picked themselves up and got back on track. The team managed to stay neck and neck with the Sabbath Bowlers and just when they thought all hope was lost the rock came through in the clutch. Double Bagger, who had struggled up until this point in the night, broke out of her funk and strung together a strike-strike-strike-nine finish. That was just what Team Each Hit needed to put them over the top.

After a quick check to the leader board, Team Each Hit realized an added significance to their match up today. Team Each Hit was amazingly holding strong at third in the league, and this week was their play-off for second. Their opponents, Sabbath Bowlers, were just slightly ahead in second and a solid performance from Team Each Hit could easily steal that title away. Game three was the swing game. Which ever team could pull off the victory would take 3 points that night.

Putting their faith in beer, and hoping that their stats on pitcher consumption and bowling performance wouldn't steer them wrong, Team Each Hit ordered another pitcher and stepped up their game. The team bowled amazingly and all bowled around a 200 (with handicaps of course) to seal the fate of the Sabbath Bowlers.

With this solid victory behind them, Team Each Hit will definitely be in second place next week. And depending on the outcome of other games, maybe even first. And we've all seen how the Team handles the honor and pressure of first place.... the swan dive to tenth is coming any minute.

Next Week's Game: BYE WEEK
Week 7: Team Each Hit vs. Fat Daddy's Pump, 9pm @ Sawmill Lanes. Hope to see you all there!

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

* Dead Wood - Bowling term used to describe a bowling pin that has settled in the gutter and cannot be retrieved by the pinsetter. Manual intervention is required to clear dead wood.

Week 5: Shake & Bake

2007-02-10T14:01:00.000-08:00

Top ten reasons Team Each Hit hates to bowl on Saturdays (drum roll.... ):

10. Kids, kids, and MORE KIDS!
9. Jack Bauer from CTU was bowling next to us... obviously this was a HUGE distraction.
8. No jerseys... we didn't feel like Team Each Hit without them.
7. The inability to really focus on reaching our 5 pitcher goal (refer to number 10).
6. The 12 year olds in the Saturday League kept bowling 200s.... SHOW OFFS!
5. Gina Lynn couldn't cheer us on.
4. Popcorn is EVERYWHERE... you have no idea how dangerous a piece of popcorn stuck to the bottom of a bowling shoe can be.
3. There was one very cool thing this week (I know it goes against the theme... but I make the rules here okay?!) --> The Cooler aquired a very awesome and very retro bowling bag. Stealing a page from J-Fred's book, Mama Double Bagger, donated her old-school bowling bag to The Cooler. We love it! Great contribution Phyllis... we can easily see how you were a shoe in for Minster Booster of the Year. (Congratulations on that too!)
2. Long lines for everything. Bowling, who knew?!
1. We have no idea if we won!

Hopefully things will be back to normal this Tuesday.... assuming we survive the next snow storm that's suppose to hit on Tuesday night again.....

Next Game, this Tuesday: Team Each Hit vs. ?? , 9pm @ Sawmill Lanes. Hope to see you all there!

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Snow Delay....

2007-02-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

An ode to Old Man Winter....
(please sing to the tune of Ol' Man River)

Old Man Winter,
That's Old Man Winter,
He must hate bowlin', but he loves the snow blowin'
He keeps the snow drifts growin'
So much the plows can't be rollin' along.
He don't like sparin'
He don't like strikin'
And Team Each Hit can't get 'em
Because the snow prevents 'em
'Cause Old Man Winter
He just hates bollin' along.

Team Each Hit will be making up last night's bowling this weekend... so never fear fans!! You will have two write ups to look forward to next week!

Go Each Hit!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 4: Lucky Balls

2007-01-30T09:34:00.000-08:00

Today let's explore Anthroponomastics, the study of the names of humans, and how it relates to our beloved Team Each Hit.

Lucky Balls:
Let's begin by exploring our opponent's name. Lucky Balls, named with the hope that a team with horribly low averages would every now and then throw a few lucky balls and surprisingly pull off a victory. Unfortunately for them, luck can only get you so far in a game of such precision and skill as bowling.

Double Bagger:
Despite many common misconceptions, the name Double Bagger was inspired by the bowling terminology which is used when a bowler nets two consecutive strikes in two consecutive frames. This name could not be more appropriate for this amazing bowler. Clearly the power house on Team Each Hit, Double Bagger is continually improving her game (thanks in great part to GumBall) and knocks down strike after strike to maintain her dominance. The name Double Bagger also is a reference to the fact that you can count on two of her three games to be in the bag. True to form, this week Double Bagger helped to ensure that games two and three were in the bag by posting amazing performances in each.

Lefty:
Lefty, why do we call him Lefty you might ask? I don't know, maybe it's because he's Irish. Others might speculate the origin stems from his hook and the ability to always hit the left side of the head pin. Or possibly it's comes from the pin EXPLOSION that occurs when he bowls. An explosion which seldom leaves any pins left(y). Whatever the source of the nickname, Lefty is becoming a dominant bowler this year. This week he posted a weekly average 10 pins above normal. This vast improvement was greatly appreciated as some Team Each Hitters were unable to post any respectable numbers (see Pink Shoes).

The Cooler:
For people who have had the privilege of meeting The Cooler in person, one might easily conclude that this name stems from his freakish high body temperature which results in him wearing flip flops all year round and often sporting shorts in the dead of winter. Thus, he is ever striving to be cooler. But, this name really is derived from this bowlers amazing ability to stay cool under pressure. On more than one occasion, Team Each Hit's only hope for victory rested on his shoulders. And this week was like no other, stringing together an amazing strike-strike-nine combination to finish game two, The Cooler was in perfect form and sealed the victory for the team.

Pink Shoes:
Pink Shoes got her name from the flashy bowling footwear she dons at the bowling alley each week. This week the old pink shoes were retired for a new and improved pair. Unfortunately, Pink Shoes was unable to find her rhythm with the new footwear and this week the name of Stink Shoes was probably more appropriate.

Next Week: Team Each Hit vs. Shake 'n Bake, 9pm @ Sawmill Lanes. Hope to see you all there!

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 3: Spartan Spirit

2007-01-23T09:32:00.000-08:00

This week we had the great pleasure of bowling against the rejected Spartan Cheerleaders (you all remember them from SNL fame). Arianna, Craig and two new wannabe cheerleaders were full of pep, and of course cheers, throughout the entire evening. So for your reading enjoyment, I decided I'd pass along the cheers they created and performed for us at the end of each game this week.

Game One:
We're bowlin strikes, we're bowlin spares...
But for us, breaking 100 is really rare!!
Catch the momentum that we create...
'Cause Game One's the game we dominate!
Say it loud, say it proud GO SPARTAN SPIRIT!
Again, GO SPARTAN SPIRIT!!!
DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!! YEAH!! (Imagine lots of leg kicks and bag flips to finish this cheer off... )

Game Two:
L - U..... C - K - Y Team Each Hit ain't got no alibi
They stole this game
But they'll steal no more
Watch out now, Spartan Spirit's gonna Score!!!
GIVE A HOOT DON'T POLLUTE!

Game Three:
Bowl, bowl, bowl the ball
Make, make, make pins fall
Bowl the ball to make them fall!!
Strike, strike, strike and spare!!
Team Each Hit won but we don't care!
Spartan, Spartan, Spartan Spirit!!
We lost three points but we'll still cheer it!!
SAFE SEX!!

Next Week: Team Each Hit vs. Team 5, 9pm @ Sawmill Lanes. Hope to see you all there!

Go Each Hit!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 2: All Star Wars

2007-01-16T09:06:00.000-08:00

It is a period of civil war. Team Each Hit bowlers, striking
whenever possible, have won their first victory against the evil
Nada Sight Empire. During the battle, Team Each Hit spies
managed to steal the secret tactical game plans for the
Pizza Pitcher Beer League's ultimate weapon, All-Star
Wars, an unbeatable bowling power house set to take
control of the entire bowling community. Pursued
by the Pizza Pitcher Beer League's sinister
agents, Leia (Double Bagger) races back
to the alley, custodian of the stolen
plans that can save her team
and restore Team Each Hit's
domination of the lanes...

A New Hope:
Leia (aka Double Bagger) has been the strongest force in defending Team Each Hit from the advances of Dark Forces in the Pizza Pitcher Beer League. She is captured and Luke Skywalker (aka The Cooler) and his two newly found compatriots, Han Solo (aka Lefty) and Chewbacca (aka Pink Shoes), search to rescue her. Together, the threesome are able to save Leia (Double Bagger) and escape the grip of the Imperial All-Star Wars Fighters. With this victory, the Rebel Forces of Team Each Hit hoped to destroy the dark force, so following the voice of Obi-Wan, Luke (The Cooler) uses the Bowling Force and destroys the All-Star Wars, winning Game One.

The Empire Strikes Back: Darth Vader and the All-Star Wars have located The Rebel Forces of Team Each Hit hiding on the remote ice planet Hoth. Team Each Hit is forced to flee. Luke (The Cooler) in his X-wing fighter fights a tough battle while Han (Lefty), Chewy (Pink Shoes) and Leia (Double Bagger) flee to the Millennium Falcon and hide. Luke (The Cooler) is shot down and crash lands on Dagobah where he encounters Yoda and he is put through rigorous lessons about the metaphysical nature of bowling. Sensing that the rest of the team is in danger Luke (The Cooler) returns to Cloud City and meets Vader for a bowl off. Vader prevails in this duel, leaving Luke (The Cooler) without a strike, spare or mark. Rubbing in his domination on the alley, Vader utters... "Who's your Daddy Luke... I'm your daddy... I own you! The Rebel Forces of Team Each Hit were dominated by the Imperial All-Star Wars Fighters, score one for the Dark Side in Game Two.

Return of the Jedi: In the final battle, Chewy (Pink Shoes), Leia (Double Bagger) and Luke (The Cooler) confront Jabba the Hut and defeat him in order to save Han. In the battle Boba Fett is also killed. A new death star is created and Luke (The Cooler) is tempted by Vader to the dark side. In the end, Vader turns on the evil Emperor and destroys him but he is also killed in the battle. With all members of All-Star Wars out of the way, Luke (The Cooler), Leia (Double Bagger), Han (Lefty) and Chewy (Pink Shoes) return to Endor to celebrate the GRAND defeat with the Ewoks. And in a strange twist, Luke (The Cooler) reveals to Leia (Double Bagger) that they are siblings**

Next Week: Team Each Hit vs. Spartans, 9pm @ Sawmill Lanes. Hope to see you all there!

Go Each Hit!
Captain Pink Shoes
*** Oddly enough the alley accidentally listed Double Bagger as Karla Bednar.... I SWEAR I DIDN'T DO IT.... But it would've been a whole lot cooler if I did :-D... hysterical!!!

Week 1: Nada Sight

2007-01-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

Welcome back bowling enthusiasts!!

Yesterday evening, on National Static Electricity Day, Team Each Hit walked back into the Sawmill Lanes AMF Bowling Alley with a new swagger. They had their heads held high, they walked with conviction, there was no way a silly gator was gonna mess with their bowling mentality.

Their newly found confidence must have been intimidating, because immediately after signing in, Team Each Hit's opponent for the week turned tail and hid. They knew they didn't have a chance against this dominating force, so they weren't even gonna try. With Nada Sight outta sight, Team Each Hit was able to relax and really enjoy their first week out.

It became immediately apparent that, unlike some other team that will remain nameless, the 51 days (plus 208) that they had off didn't seem to hinder Team Each Hit's performance. They appeared well prepared and they knew better than to go for a 4th and short in only the 2nd quarter. Their offense couldn't be overpowered by the strong Nada Sight defense. And, even when slightly behind, Team Each Hit knew not to ever let their opponent think they were desperate. Instead, Team Each Hit bowled like the champions they were last season and easily took all 4 points this week.

The ladies of Team Each Hit looked to hit their stride immediately, while the boys and their hooks took some time to iron out the kinks. But truly, the biggest star of the week was the new addition to the team. A new, neon pink, 12 pound, gumball scented, addition to the Team Each Hit family. All of us on Team Each Hit would like to warmly welcome Double Bagger's new ball, GumBall, to the team. We have already seem a massive improvement in Double Bagger's pin action with GumBall in her arsenal. And yes, I was serious about the ball being scented.

Don't believe me?!! Come give the ball a sniff for yourself, Team Each Hit takes on their next victim Next Tuesday, January 16 at 9PM at Sawmill Lanes. Hope to see you all there!

GO EACH HIT!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 6 Stats

2006-03-11T14:07:00.000-08:00

Week 5 Stats

2006-03-04T10:34:00.000-08:00

Week 4 Stats

2006-02-19T07:53:00.000-08:00

Kurt's Stats

2006-01-30T08:56:00.000-08:00

Alcohol Stats

2006-01-22T16:17:00.000-08:00

Dan's Stats

2006-01-22T16:08:00.000-08:00

Karla Stat's

2006-01-22T16:07:00.000-08:00

Aly Stats

2006-01-22T13:49:00.000-08:00

Mackey Stats

2006-01-22T13:48:00.000-08:00

Season Stats & Leader Board

2006-01-22T12:51:00.000-08:00

Week 2-09 Stats

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Week 3-09 Stats

2006-01-21T08:09:00.000-08:00

Bryan Stats

2006-01-21T08:07:00.001-08:00

Harmie Stats

2006-01-21T08:07:00.000-08:00

Timmy's Stats

2006-01-20T15:47:00.000-08:00

Julie's Stats

2006-01-20T15:46:00.000-08:00

Week 3 Stats

2006-01-20T08:20:00.000-08:00

Week 2 Stats

2006-01-20T07:01:00.000-08:00

Team Schedule

2006-01-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

Week 1 - Stats

2006-01-08T15:57:00.000-08:00

Week 4-09

2006-01-05T10:54:00.000-08:00

Week 1-09 Stats

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Pic

2006-01-01T07:29:00.000-08:00