Week 12: Snakes on a Lane!

Here are the undisputed facts surrounding this week's match up:
--> Snakes on a Lane are the number one ranked team in all Pizza Party Pitcher League polls.
--> Last week Snakes took home the award for Highest Team Series, Highest Team Average and Highest Individual Handicap Game*
--> Team Each Hit put together the worst pin total for a series in the 2007 season.
--> One member of Snakes pre-bowled, and amazingly he managed to bowl a total of 128 pins over his series average.
--> Snakes dominated Team Each Hit by over 300 total pins.

But just like many unbelievable historic events, people tend to feel that the facts aren't the whole truth. And that the real story has been covered up in order to protect the real events. Outlined below are the most popular conspiracy theories surrounding the monumental loss for Team Each Hit last night.

Theory 1: Pete Rose
It has been suggested that ever since Pete Rose was banned from baseball he has been fulfilling his gambling fix by placing high stakes bets on recreational bowling league match ups. Sources report, that due to the lack of identity verification for pre-bowlers, Rose was able to pay for a more experienced bowler to bowl in place of Snakes fourth bowler. By working the bowler handicap system to his favor, Rose was able to insure a much more predictable outcome.

Theory 2: Hollywood
Other sources believe, that Hollywood execs placed undercover agents at the alley this past week to do research for the sequel of the colossal flop Snakes on a Plane. Entertainment websites report that Hollywood is contemplating a sequel, Snakes on a Lane, and have been watching with bated breath to see if their new catch phrase would catch on. (I have had it with these mother%#$@ snakes on this mother%#$@ lane! )

Theory 3: The PBA
After hearing that Team Each Hit was on track to break the record for longest consecutive 10th place finishes in a recreational bowling league, and by doing so take down the most beloved recreational team of all time, Triple X, the PBA decided that to preserve the dignity and prestige of Triple X they had to stop Team Each Hit from achieving this. Most theorists believe that this was accomplished by providing Snakes access to many bowling enhancing drugs as well as banned bowling ball substances such as ball lube.

* Team Each Hit's own, The Cooler, actually tied for High Handicap Game in the league for last week. Congratulations on a great game!

Only two weeks left!!! Next Week's Game: Team Each Hit vs. Log Jammer's, 9pm @ Sawmill Lanes.

Go Each Hit!!
Captain Pink Shoes

Week 11: Flies on Pies

Team Each Hit fought a good fight against a very tough and heavily favored opponent (Vegas had the line at 80 Pins). The team played tough defense, and as they entered the second half down only a few pins, Team Each Hit tried to pull it together. Unfortunately, all their shots were all just a little off. As the clock wound down, Team Each Hit saw the victory slowly slip away. In the final minutes, they could only tip their heads in appreciation of the talent of Flies on Pies and await the confetti. As it streamed down on us, we hung our heads in defeat and then the song began to play....

... It's still hard for me to watch this.... but here's the tune to sing along with...

The ball is rolled
and there you are
you're bowling for your life
you're a shooting star
And all the beers
no one knows
just how much pizza you ate
but now it shows...
(in) ONE SHINING MOMENT, IT'S ALL ON THE LINE
ONE SHINING MOMENT, THERE FROZEN IN TIME
   
But time is short
and the alley is long
in the blinking of an eye
all the pins are gone
And when it's done
Team Each Hit will lose
but 3/4 of them did their best
cuz inside they knew...
(that) ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU REACHED DEEP INSIDE
ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE

Feel the groove of the lane
smell the scent of Gumball
it's more than a bowling match
The Cooler wore no hat at all...

And when it's done
Team Each Hit will lose
but 3/4 of them did their best
cuz inside they knew...
(that) ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU REACHED FOR THE SKY
ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU KNEW
ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU WERE WILLING TO TRY
ONE SHINING MOMENT....